Managing Finances With Your Partner

Money. It can bring people together or tear them apart. You might know someone who talks about how they “fight like cats and dogs” with their partner when it comes to finances. (Or you may have even been in that situation yourself.) But did you know that often the root of these behaviors is looking at money from a different perspective? Everyone has a different approach to money — some are open about their finances with their partner, some aren’t. Some are impulsive shoppers, and some are frugal to the extreme. It’s not surprising that combining finances (or not) can put a strain on relationships, but it doesn’t have to be this way. With the right systems in place, any relationship can mix love and money.

DO THIS:

When you talk about money, don’t just talk about the numbers. Talk about how money makes you feel. That’s right — money makes each of us feel different things, and how we feel about money affects how we invest, save, earn, and spend.

So when you sit down to discuss your finances with your partner, it’s important to take into account that not only do your goals and needs differ from each other, but so does your relationship with money. Make sure you're talking about your values and goals. And remember: it's not just what you say that matters—it's also how you say it!

NOT THIS:

Do not—I repeat, do NOT—avoid having the "money talk" with your partner. While it may feel uncomfortable to broach the subject, it will save you a lot of stress and fend off future fights and misunderstandings. I know that you most likely don’t want to rock the boat by bringing up your partner’s spending habits or financial goals, but if your finances aren’t aligned, things are going to get rocky very quickly.

It can be hard to talk about money with someone you love because of all of the emotions involved: trust, vulnerability, disappointment, even resentment. But if you can have an honest conversation about what each of you wants for yourselves financially—and how those goals align—you’ll have a better chance at success together.

And if you ever find yourself needing a little extra help with money, know that we here at Within Reach Therapy specialize in Financial Behavior Therapy. You do not need to go through this alone. Reach out to us today and see how we can support you when it comes to addressing financial stress.